the EVERYMAN is a person who flounders about in his own blissful ignorance, until life smacks him in the face with a TASTE OF ADVENTURE!
| 模因(学)中的一幕 |
|---|
| 作者： |
| 发布于 22 Apr 2026 14:58 |
After a massive insect in Messianic skin swallowed him whole, Adamo Smalls could safely say he survived his own funeral. Which he did. But the real tragedy had only just dawned on him: He was having a fashion emergency. Luckily, Heather Mason came to save the day.
在一只包裹在弥赛亚式皮肤中的巨型昆虫将他完全吞没后，Adamo Smalls可以平安地说他在自己的葬礼上活了下来。这确实如此。但是真正的悲剧才刚刚开始：他正面临时尚危机。幸运的是，希瑟·梅森来救场了。
她只用一句话就说服了他。
“快把你身上那讨厌的蝉臭味去掉。你有备用的垃圾焚化炉吗？”
在虚空的当地二手商店，希瑟为他挑了身行头。她把他那沾满煤烟、挂满内脏的大衣换成了任何一个称职的模因学家都出门必备的打扮：
一件毛线背心和一条卡其裤。
Adamo目瞪口呆地看着希瑟显示屏上的倒影。
“我看起来像是谁家的游手好闲怪大叔。”
The pair crossed 'wardrobe malfunction' off the mental bucket list and slumped into a nearby alcove. They stared off into the distance. For the next half-hour, the pair was still. Faceless passersby flowed along in a stream of monotony.
两人将”衣柜失灵“1从心头的遗愿清单上划掉，瘫倒在附近的凹地上。他们凝视着远方。接下来的半个小时里，两人一动不动。千人一面的行人如单调的流水般川流不息。
What felt like days before, the pair had bid their old reality adieu when it faded out from under them. They travelled on different journeys but found themselves at the same destination.
仿佛就在几天前，当过去的现实从他们眼前淡去时，两人已经向它挥手告别。他们各自踏上了不同的旅程，却发现来到了同一个目的地。
无论身在何处。
Heather bobbed her face-screen to the side and noticed Adamo frowning. It was a brief flicker, but it sent her searching for a reason. Was he exhausted? For sure, but he showed that in his shoulders. Hungry? Maybe. There was a Taco Bell a half-block away, if they craved it, but no. There was something else. His gaze held secrets.
希瑟将她的显示屏歪向一侧，注意到Adamo皱起了眉。那只是一瞬间的神情，却让她忍不住去探究原因。他是累了吗？肯定的，但他的疲惫更多体现在双肩上。还是饿了？或许吧。如果他们想吃些什么的话，半条街外就有一家塔可钟，但不是因为这个。另有别的原因。他的眼底藏着秘密。
她也有自己的秘密。她知道一些他不知晓的事。
“这不过是游戏的一部分。”
“什么意思？”
他转过头，盯着她的显示屏。
She told him before that their destiny — in this place-between-places, filled with memories from Adamo's past — was part of a game. Some complex game of cosmic fates played by gods and demons. But They wouldn't let her tell him the truth. The full truth.
她之前告诉过他，他们的命运——在这个层层叠叠的空间里，充满了Adamo过往的记忆——是一场游戏的一部分。一场由神与恶魔操纵的、错综复杂的游戏，关乎宇宙的宿命。但它们不让她告诉他真相。全部的真相。
她把她的CRT屏幕脑袋歪向一边。
“这……很复杂。”
"Let's uncomplicate it, then. Games don't usually put you right into the action, do they? There's a lot that the player needs to slog through before they can even begin. There's a tutorial, maybe some backstory scrolling down the loading screen. World-building. That sort of thing. Right?"
“那我们就把它变简单。游戏通常不会直接把你扔进动作场景，对吧？在开始前，玩家有太多东西得先熬过去。得有教程，或许还有加载界面滚动播放的背景故事，世界观构架之类的。不是吗？”
“对，没错，是这样的。”
"Yeah. But in the span of a few hours, I've been through, like, three different unrelated places and met some buggy asshole that may or may not have been alien Jesus Christ. And now I'm here. Doesn't seem like any game I've ever played. You know?"
“对了。但就在短短几小时内，我到了三个完全不相关的地方，还遇到了一个满是bug的混蛋，可能是什么外星耶稣，也可能不。然后现在，我就在这里。这可不像我玩过的任何游戏。你明白吗？”
“我，呃，不，我不明白。”
"… And that's another thing. What's your role in all this? Your actual role, aside from helping me. You didn't just pop up here because I imagined you."
“……还有另一件事。你在这整件事里扮演什么角色？你真正的角色，除了帮我之外。你可不是因为我凭空想象才出现在这里的。”
“嗯……”
"Like, alright, maybe you're physically incapable of explaining why you can't explain why… If that makes sense?"
“比如说，好吧，你也许从生理上就无法解释为什么你不能解释原因……如果这么说合理的话？”
“但是——”
"No, it's okay, I get it. Something memetic, maybe? Never mind, you wouldn't even know what that means. That's okay, too. See, I'm not just some generic secret agent from an action movie. I'm a field researcher. I have expertise, and–"
“不，没事，我都懂。某种模因影响之类的？算了，你连那词什么意思都未必知道。也无所谓了。你看，我不只是动作片里那种普普通通的特工。我是一名实地研究员。我有专业背景，而且——”
“Adamo。”
“……好吧，你说得对。行吧。我会说到那儿的。但首先，我得——”
“Adamo！”
“什么？”
“看！”
Adamo对她语气的转变感到困惑。她手忙脚乱地指向她的显示屏。
超形上学部呈献……
“游戏”
开始游戏
读取进度
选项
逃出
“……这是个什么鬼？”
那些奇怪的文字在希瑟的显示屏上闪烁了整整五分钟，但对她来说，却仿佛永恒。
“你就不能绞尽脑汁想一想吗？”
他的语气听起来不太有说服力。
“说得轻巧，这事儿可没看上去那么容易！”
她自己的语气也不太确信。
"All I'm saying is that if I had a CRT screen for a head, I might find it in my best interest to figure out how the damn thing works!"
“我只是说，如果我长了一个CRT屏幕当脑袋，我好歹会想办法弄清楚这破玩意儿怎么用！”
“你太不顾及别人感受了！”
Heather squealed as she gripped the sides of her CRT screen head. Her fingers ached and butterflies made a roost in her chest as she squirmed in fear. Adamo stood by, hands up in the en garde stance, as if he were about to supply technical aid like some IT magician.
希瑟尖叫着，双手紧紧抓住她CRT屏幕脑袋的两侧。她手指发酸，心跳得飞快，害怕得浑身发抖。Adamo站在一旁，双手举起，摆出一副防卫姿态，像个IT魔术师似的准备提供技术支持。
“我可没时间陪你玩游戏，小姑娘。”
他停顿了片刻，放下手臂，耸了耸肩。
“我的意思是，这说不定真的是个游戏，但……”
“小姑娘？你谁啊，是我妈吗？”
“来吧，你至少翻翻自己的口袋，肯定有个遥控器之类的东西。”
“……那是我的脑袋，Adamo。”
Ever since a makeshift rebirth ritual pulled Heather taut between meatspace and this place-between-places, she had a TV screen for a head. That was her anchor. That was her normal. It had taken the better part of two years to get used to, and she spent hours upon angst-ridden hours fearing how the world would perceive her.
自从一场临时的重生仪式把希瑟拽进现实与层叠空间的夹缝中后，她就有了一个作为头部的电视机屏幕。那是她的锚点。是她的常态。她花了将近两年时间才勉强习惯，又在无数个焦虑不安的小时里恐惧着这个世界会如何看待她。
The time after she received it was the hardest in her life. The Foundation had her cooped up for three months. A brief time for an 'anomalous humanoid entity' — which is how Containment Security rats called it — but aeons for her. Eventually, through a chain of events she didn't dare question, she broke out. Her adoptive moms came to find her, and for the next year-and-a-half, they were on the lam.
And now Adamo was treating her 'anomaly' as a toy, a set piece. He was probing her like the Jailors did. She remembered the anguish that kept her up for weeks. He's just like them, she thought. Just like them!
But surely, he had faced considerable distress, too, hadn't he? An anomaly ripped him from the world. He watched his family, his friends, his colleagues, and everything he knew, slip through his fingers like coarse sand.
Maybe he empathised. Maybe he looked to her 'anomaly' the same way he looked at his. Maybe he just wanted to understand.
She forced herself to internalize all these feelings, for the briefest moment, and focused on her breathing.
"Hey, Heather?"
"."
"You still with me?"
".."
"Hey, if you can make jokes, then so can I. Look, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I pushed. Let's figure this out together. Okay?"
"…"
Heather shook her head. She looked at Adamo. Lucid again. She smiled and cracked a joke.
"Okay, grandpa."
"… Heather, I'm thirty-one years old!"
"So then why are you always such a grumpy old geezer?"
"All right. Let's just take a second to calm down. You're the one that wanted me to play this game in the first place."
"I know, I know."
Adamo sighed and scanned their surroundings.
"Well, I'm lost. Let's get some help."
…
HELLO! THERE ARE NO CURRENT HELP OPTIONS AVAILABLE. WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?
Adamo jumped. The screen was talking. To him.
"Heather? What do I say?"
"I don't know…"
"Uh, hey. I'd like to start the game, please."
THERE IS ONE SAVE FILE ALREADY IN USE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOAD A NEW ONE?
"Yes."
WE APOLOGIZE, BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE SAVE FILE AVAILABLE FOR YOUR GAME SESSION. WOULD YOU LIKE TO RESTART YOUR PLAY SESSION?
"Sure, I don't see why not. Would save a hell of a lot of grief."
OH, OH MY. YOU WILL LOSE ALL YOUR CURRENT PROGRESS IF YOU RESTART. IS THIS WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO DO?
"Progress? What progress? I haven't even started yet."
THE CURRENT SAVE FILE HAS A RECORDED GAMEPLAY TIME OF 31 YEARS, 10 MONTHS, 19 DAYS, 15 HOURS, AND 22 SECONDS. DO YOU WISH TO PROCEED?
Adamo's placid expression twisted into shock.
"No, I do not–"
DELETING…
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 0%
▒░░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 1%
"Shit, Heather, make it go back."
"I can't!"
DELETING…
█▓░░░░░░░░░░░░░ 13%
██████████▒░░░░ 69%
"Stop, abort, quit!"
DELETING…
██████████▓░░░░ 69.1%
██████████▒░░░░ 69.11%
Heather giggled.
Adamo's face flickered with a tinge of red, either from embarrassment, relief, annoyance, or a mixture of the three.
"Oh, perfect. Just perfect!"
A third, separate voice spoke with a robotic timbre and a spoonful of whimsy.
you should see the look on your face. i got you good!
"Drop the charade. Who are you, and what's going on?"
i am a Text-to-Speech Analysis construct, Type-P, code named FODDER! you've been selected to play THE GAME. are you excited??? i sure am!
"Let's take a step back here. I want this 'game' explained to me. Right now. Capisce?"
THE GAME follows a naive EVERYMAN on a QUEST to unlock his true potential! the EVERYMAN is a person who flounders about in his own blissful ignorance, until life smacks him in the face with a TASTE OF ADVENTURE! he stumbles into THE GUIDE: his unsuspecting companion and bearer of THE GAMEs information! he resists THE GUIDE — maybe once or thrice — until THE GUIDE pushes him into THE UNKNOWN. there, he faces VICES, and VILLAINS that scare him into battling a terrible BEAST. he narrowly defeats THE BEAST, nabs its TREASURE, and meets THE MAKER, who shows him how much of a LAZY OAF he used to be. with the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, he returns to his old life a HERO!
"That is so vague, you could have described any game out there. Is that it? Heather, did you know this?"
"I– Uh, I know all sorts of things about the game."
"So why haven't you explained anything?"
MS. MAD ABOUT VIDEO
GAMES WOULD NOT WANT
TO BREAK THE RULES,
WOULD SHE???
"Oh, I wouldn't, I really, really wouldn't!"
so then, guide! whatareyouwaitingfor???? are you going to guide your compatriot here to absolution????? OR WHAT.
Heather snapped out of a slouch.
"I'm ready!"
oh gosh, you are just like the cutest li'l thing!
"… This entire thing brings up more questions than answers."
"I can't reveal anything to you, Adamo! Not anything meaningful, at least. It's like… Those mind programming things your people claim to save the world from."
yawn. boooooooring! could we get THE GAME going, or naw?
"I just need to know some things. Like… We were in the void. Why are we where we are right now? With a Taco Bell, and a thrift shop, and everything else?"
"Oh, um, like. The game uses your memories and worldview as a baseline, and then builds from there. From a game development standpoint — especially one so personalized and far-reaching as this — it only makes sense to do that."
"And, and what about that weird… Insect freak. What does he have to do with this?"
THE GAME would like to inform you that it has no discretion over multiplayer activities and takes no responsibility for damages incurred therein!
"Well, I'm exhausted already. How's about that Taco Bell, first? I've never actually had it, but I heard it's delicious."
"I, like, can't actually eat Taco Bell, so."
"What, not hungry? Maybe we can–"
The realization slammed into Adamo like an 18-wheeler.
"Oh. Forgot about that."
"But I think I spotted a cyber café nearby!"
"Great, let's go!"
The pair had more-or-less walked away before the quirky mechanical voice jolted them back.
once you all get powered up or whatever, i'm sorry to say, but THE GAME will truly begin!
"Sure, whatever. Let's eat! I know I'm starving, and this gal over here is down for a byte or two herself."
As if reading words on a screen, she let out a snort. Whether she admired him as a friend, a weird, adoptive uncle, or as his guide, was irrelevant. She admired Adamo Smalls no matter how flawed he was.
And so, she followed him, down to The Void's cyber café. Hoping that the world conjured up by this man's mind was hospitable but knowing that it probably wasn't.
